John 13:31-35 - Apart from Jesus, We Don't Really Know Love - May 15, 2022

Do you consider yourself to be a loving person? If so, how would you describe or explain it? What does love look like, sound like, act like? I don’t think any one of us would want to describe ourselves as unloving. But I’m going to say something that is intentionally offensive: you’re not loving. Neither am I. Neither is anyone else in the world. A statement like that demands proof, doesn’t it? Here are three. In the prayer of the day we begged God to “make us love what you command” – why would we need to pray that if we are love experts? We only pray for things we don’t possess or are incapable of. Second: I’m pretty confident that when I asked if you were a loving person you immediately thought about your feelings, especially for your family and friends – because those were my first thoughts, too. But feelings of affection for family and friends is not the kind of love Jesus is describing. Finally, isn’t it true that many of the sickest, most depraved things are done in the name of love: murder of the unborn (see how loving the protestors have been lately?), same-sex marriage, refusal to carry out Christian discipline, the tolerance of false doctrines and idolatrous religions. No, we do not know what love is – and we’d better figure it out because our confessions say “the fact that a person does not love is a sure sign that he is not justified” (FC SD III:27). Or, as John puts it: the one who does not love remains in death (1 John 3:14). People who don’t know what love is are, to be blunt, damned. We better learn what love is. And for that, we must look to Jesus.

The first stop in our quest to figure out love is at the foot of the cross. John spends a full third of his Gospel (John 12-21) recounting the final seven days of Jesus’ life. John 13:1 serves as a sort of theme of Jesus’ entire Passion: having loved those who were his own in the world, he loved them to the end (John 13:1). And what did Jesus’ love earn him? Betrayal. Judas left because Jesus had forced his hand, forcing him to choose between light and darkness. Judas chose darkness and at Jesus’ command (John 13:27) he left the upper room to finish his wicked work. That’s incredible, isn’t it? Jesus himself sparked the series of events that would lead directly to his condemnation by the church and crucifixion by the state. And yet, what does he say about it? He says it is his glory! Now the Son of Man is glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify the Son in himself and will glorify him at once. Exactly how is Jesus, how is God, glorified by the Son of God suffering and dying on a cross? You’ve got to understand God’s rather outrageous idea of glory. His glory is doing the undoable, saving the unsaveable, redeeming the irredeemable. Right there you understand why many people don’t understand love, right? According to human reason and false religions a glorious, loving God ought to save the saveable, love the lovable, help those who help themselves and show mercy to those who earn it. But the true God reveals his glory most clearly in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). And what greater gift could he give than his Son? What could bring him greater glory than saving people who don’t deserve it – people like us?

That’s why, if you want to know what love looks like, you’ve got to start at the cross. See how God has lifted the burden of sin and guilt off your shoulders and placed them on the shoulders of his Son. Listen to Jesus, knowing what was about to happen to him, telling you that saving your wretched, loveless soul by being nailed to a tree and suffering the hell you deserve is his greatest glory. See him do it, not grudgingly but willingly. See him not only shoulder your sins but your fears, your failures, your worries and your cares, too. There can be no conversation about love unless we begin right here, at the foot of the cross, with Jesus’ suffering, sighing, bleeding and dying on a cross to bring glory to his Father and salvation to sinners.

But love that starts at the cross never stops there. Jesus moves immediately from justification by grace to the life of sanctification: a new commandment I give you: love one another. Just as I have loved you, so also you are to love one another. The obvious question is: what is new about this command? Didn’t Moses say love your neighbor as yourself 1500 years earlier (Leviticus 19:18)? Did you notice the two differences? First, the standard. Moses’ standard was yourself – love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. Jesus raises the bar. He commands us to love others as much as he loved us. This means that Jesus commands us to love others even more than we love ourselves. Again, Jesus himself set the standard: not only did he lay down his life for us – the greatest possible act of love (John 15:13) – but he did it while we were still his enemies! (Romans 5:8) Jesus isn’t commanding us to have mushy feelings for one another, he’s commanding us to sacrifice for one another – even if we don’t like them, and especially when they don’t deserve it. The second difference is the scope. Moses’ command was to love your neighbor – illustrated by Jesus in the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). And that’s still true. But in his new command, Jesus specifically tells his disciples to love one another. It’s a sad commentary on the state of Christianity when churches stumble over themselves boasting about how much they do for and in their communities – and even across the world: feeding the hungry and housing the homeless and clothing the naked – but when it comes to loving one another, they don’t even know each other’s names – much less fulfilling the debt of love they owe one another (Romans 13:8) to rebuke and forgive and pray for and encourage one another. Please do not misunderstand: Yes, Jesus does want us to love our neighbors out there in the world, but in this text, he is telling us to do something that just might be even harder: love the people right here in this room. This may sound selfish and self-serving, but Jesus says that this is outreach, it’s evangelism: by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

So back to our question: are we loving people? Remember, Jesus is not talking about fuzzy feelings, empty words or good intentions – he’s laying out his personal example of total self-sacrifice, of putting other’s needs before our own, of doing the hard and thankless tasks that need to be done even if they don’t benefit us our or families – he’s saying love others like I have loved you! Paul carefully defined the kind of love Jesus is talking about: love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. It does not behave indecently. It is not selfish. It is not irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Those words might seem appropriate when they are applied to a man and a woman who are madly in love with each other on their wedding day, but they sound a little different when the one whose hands and feet were nailed to a cross, who literally experienced hell for you is standing before you asking: “Look to your right and your left; have you loved these people like this, have you loved them like I loved you?”

Admittedly, Jesus has set a standard of love that we will never meet. He even says where I am going, you cannot come. Accomplishing the redemption of the world by sacrificing his life was a task only Jesus could perform. But perfect love is nonetheless what he demands of us. No excuses. No massaging or twisting what Jesus said. No redefining love or suggesting that Jesus just wants us to try our best. Those words from 1 Corinthians 13 that are frequently printed in some cutesy font on cards and posters are some of the hardest law in the Bible. And this law of love does two things for us: like a mirror it convicts us of our sins and like a guide it shows us how God wants us to live (Romans 3:20; Psalm 119:105). Allow me to cherry pick one of Paul’s standards and apply it to us, the members of Risen Savior. [Love] is not irritable. It’s important to remember that one of the devil’s favorite tricks is to make God’s greatest blessings seem like the worst curses. After God’s gift of the Gospel in Word and Sacrament, what is the greatest blessing we have here at Risen Savior? You. All of you. You are the people for whom Jesus died. That includes the ones you’re holding in your arms, running around your feet, squawking and crying and distracting and throwing toys and making a mess. The devil would like nothing more than to turn the blessing of children in church (a sadly rare thing in 21st century America) into a curse and a source of irritability. And he’s had success, hasn’t he? Angry glares. Shaking heads. Stressed-out parents and bitter children. Thinking or saying “Something has to be done!” I agree. What needs to be done is we all need to love each other more than ourselves.

So as uncomfortable as this might be – here’s the law of love applied as a mirror and guide to us. Children, Jesus loved you so much that he died for you. He has loved you enough to give you faithful Christian parents who bring you to sit at his feet. Listen to them and obey them as if you were listening to and obeying Jesus himself – because you are! (Ephesians 6:1) Parents, while everyone here understands that no child is perfect and they will have their moments – even in church – Jesus commands you to love the people around you more than your own convenience or pride or laziness and take the tantrum out of church behind the glass wall or into the nursery designed for that very purpose. Love your child enough to discipline them. Love them enough to forgive them – and actually use those words, “I forgive you.” Love them enough to teach them the way the One who died for them wants them to behave. And everyone else…imagine if Jesus was sitting here, observing not only your outward behavior but judging the very thoughts of your heart. Do you picture him sitting there glaring at you, shaking his head, nudging his Father, pointing at you and saying something about “sinners these days!” Nope, he’s here to meet you – sins and all – and he’s here with open arms to welcome you, forgive you, help you, encourage you and support you. He had every right to lose his temper with you. What did he do instead? He lost his life for you. Instead of grumbling about “parents these days” – ask yourself – “how can I help parents these days?” And let me be blunt: if a screaming toddler can make you lose your temper in God’s house – the problem is not the child, the problem is you. You need to repent – and a proper fruit of that repentance would be to personally apologize for your selfish and loveless behavior.

I’ll ask again, are we loving people? Can any of us say “yes” with a straight face? Even though we will never love perfectly, perfect love is our goal – a goal we want to strive for only one reason: Jesus. We don’t love children because they’re well-behaved or fellow members because they’re so nice or our pastor because he’s so charming – because more often than not, those things aren’t true! The only reason we love is because God loved us first (1 John 4:19). He loved us when we were unlovable. He loved us when we were his enemies. He loved us enough to let our sins cause his perfect Son to be spit on and mocked, slapped and whipped, crucified and murdered. Our world likes to think of love in pretty pastel colors and fuzzy feelings and over-priced Hallmark cards. God’s love is written in the metallic gray of nails driven into his Son’s hands and feet and his crimson blood dripping down a cross. It’s written in the blackest depths of hell where God damned his own Son in our place. God’s love is not just words or feelings; it was and is active. His love brought us kicking and screaming to Baptism to be washed clean and made new. His love announces forgiveness for even the worst of sins and sinners – which, in my estimation, has to be me (1 Timothy 1:15). His love hands you his Son’s flesh and blood to assure you that he didn’t just love the world, he loved you – especially at those times when you know you’re completely unloveable. And when you turn around after receiving communion this morning and look at all the faces out there, remember that Jesus loved and died for them too. That, finally, is the reason we want to love one another.

The unbelieving world doesn’t know how to love. Neither will we if we ever take our eyes off of Jesus. He is both the perfect example of love and the only reason we can love one another even more than ourselves. One last time: are you a loving person? What can we say but: “no, not as Jesus demands.” But may God also lead us to trust that while we are not perfectly loving, we are perfectly loved by him. Because when we know that God loves us unconditionally, then our love for one another will take care of itself. Amen.